Domestic Violence: Safety & Gentle Support Check-In | Emotional Intelligence Developer

I am not sure if it is abuse

If any of these feel familiar, your feelings are valid. You are not overreacting for wanting safety and respect.

Controlling behaviour — who you see, where you go Isolation from friends, family, or support Threats, intimidation, or fear tactics Financial control — money, work, access Sexual pressure or coercion Verbal degradation, insults, or humiliation Stalking or repeated unwanted contact Digital monitoring — phone, social media, location Physical harm or threats of harm Constantly walking on eggshells

Guided reflection

Step 1 — How are you feeling right now?

Other feeling (optional)

Step 2 — What has been happening?

What happened most recently that brought you here? What do you wish someone understood?

Step 3 — What feels hardest about reaching out?

Step 4 — One small safe step today

Actions

Create a reach-out message

Choose a template, edit it freely, and copy it when you are ready. No pressure.

Quiet safety planning

Only do what feels safe in your situation. These are options, not requirements.

Identify a safe contact ▼

One person who is calm and trustworthy. Keep their contact details somewhere only you can access — a note app with a neutral title, a friend's address in your phone under a different name.

Pack essentials (only if safe to do so) ▼

If it is safe, think about: ID documents, keys, medications, essential paperwork, emergency contacts, and any items that cannot be replaced. A small bag kept somewhere accessible can make leaving faster if needed.

Choose a code word with a trusted person ▼

A neutral word or phrase agreed in advance can signal "I need help now" without giving details — useful if you cannot speak freely. For example: "Can you bring the book you borrowed?" could mean "please come."

Device and browser safety ▼

If your device may be monitored: use private browsing mode, clear browser history after use, sign out of shared accounts, and consider using a device or connection the other person does not have access to — a library computer, a trusted friend's phone.

Find support in your country

Free, confidential helplines are available in most countries. You do not need to be ready to leave — you can just call to talk.

Find a helpline in your country

Build emotional strength and boundaries — free course

This free course supports emotional intelligence skills including boundaries, self-trust, safer decision-making, and communication. A certificate is available on completion.

Start the free course

If this helped you, you can share it with someone who may need a private starting point.

Privacy

This tool can store your reflections only in this browser if you turn on save above. On shared or monitored devices, it is safer to keep save off and use Quick Exit and Hide/Reset to clear everything immediately. Private browsing mode leaves no local history.